Never Too Late - Excerpt #2

"The great tragedy of life is not that men perish but that they cease to love."

- Somerset Maugham, British Playwright and novelist

"If I have faith that can move mountains but have not love, I am nothing."

- Paul in a letter to church members in Corinth

The term, Principle of Least Interest, has been bandied around in academic and business circles for decades. It suggest that the person who has the least interest in a relationship or outcome has the most power. It seems to make sense. Business negotiations would be a primary example, as would a marriage where one party has a greater interest in the relationship being successful than the other.

But, does not this principle violate a basic premise of being human? That we were born to care!

In the early 90's, I traveled often to Bosnia Herzegovina, supporting work among children who were caught in the swirling chaos of social and institutional breakdown brought on by war. Neighborhoods were being torn apart, ethnic cleansing was an intentional policy and practice, and evidence of genocide. I asked some of the UN Peacekeepers how they cope and one officer quickly replied: "You have to turn down the volume of your emotions. You cannot afford to care."

I get it. They were professionals and had to do a job and could not afford to be debilitated by tears and rage. But yet, it is in our DNA to care. History illustrates that the people we admire most are people who cared and took risks. Nelson Mandela, Mahatma Gandhi, Martin Luther King, Jesus Christ . . . all examples that we were created to care.

Steve Covey added an eighth habit to his Seven Habits of Highly Successful People . . . his addition is "Love: seeing and delighting in the potential of others."

My brother, who for many years worked as an actor, told me that once he was on the set of a TV Series he was appearing on, and there was a famous actress of an older generation. She was the star, in fact, of a hit comedy series. During a scene change, my brother summoned the courage to strike up a conversation. The actress's words and body language made him feels safe in her presence. She was not the primadonna he expected. Towards the end of the conversation, he asked her for an acting tip. Her reply stuck with him through the rest of his career and preparing for parts. She said, "In every scene and every script, ask the question; 'where is the love?'"

Mulling her words, he increasingly learned that when you find the love, you find authenticity and authority as an actor.

Is there a price to pay? Of course.
Love does make you vulnerable. But, when one lets go and accepts vulnerability, a power and freedom is unleashed.

So here are four manifestations of love that I have come to believe in and practice

1. Curiosity: an irrepressible urge to discover things
2. Celebration: despite hardship that may surround us, love compels us to find light amidst the darkness.
3. Community: Love values connection. I like the quote from the Hopi tribe: Joy is a raindrop landing in a river.
4. Compassion: love enables us to weep with those who weep and laugh with those who laugh.